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it’s 2:30a July 17, 2008

Posted by d.w. in misc.

i had a dream a month ago that i had a pet cobra. it was a boy cobra. and he wasn’t just a cobra, he was king cobra. and he wasn’t just my pet, he was my best friend. like dogs are supposed to be. but king cobras can murder dogs. they usually aren’t interested in murdering dogs though, since their diet consists primarily of snakes. maybe even cobras. but not other king cobras. they’re not even in the same genus, so it’s not cannibalism. plus it’s smart for snakes to eat snakes since they’re the same shape. anyways, so i had this best friend king cobra in my dream. and there was an emergency of some sort. and i had to go somewhere fast. so i borrow this brown truck (i don’t know anyone who owns one in real life, which is how i knew it was a dream — and anytime cobras are involved, it’s always a dream), and my cobra and i take off. the king cobra is well-behaved in vehicles (even trucks), and starts out on the seat. i’m driving on the freeway pretty fast and the king cobra gets bored of freeway scenery and starts slithering around under the seat. i thought this was a very natural thing for him to do, since it wasn’t my truck. so he’s checking it out down there and i’m driving fast. then this other truck (two trucks in one dream? i should’ve known it was actually a nightmare) cuts in front of me. i swerve to miss it and slide off the road and i do a 180 on the dirt and come to a stop. my first reaction is to check to see if my best friend cobra is okay. so i reach under the seat to pull him out (and it’s obvious to me that this is how i normally interact with him) and he bites me in the hand. this reaction by my best friend is completely understandable, since the truck had slid all around and probably startled the snake. plus he’s a king cobra. and he naturally bites creatures that it deems threatening. so in my dream, i don’t even hold the king cobra accountable for biting me. it just seems like an unfortunate series of events. (is that the title of a book?) i have cobra nightmares at least 8 times a year. no kidding. they’re almost always the same. i think the king cobra and i have an understanding and i get bit and wake up.

so i’ve been staring at the screen for like 14 minutes. and the letters now seem gigantic. it’s like i’m watching a movie where someone else is typing. actually, it’s exactly like when i have the flu. when i get the flu, my dreams usually consist of these gigantic but delicate objects smashing really really tiny spheres. every time i have a dream like that it think it’s totally weird. but that’s what it’s like right now. the letters are huge. and they seem like they could break apart. or get crushed by something even bigger. like the twin towers.

how did anything hit the pentagon on 9-11? isn’t it the most protected airspace in the world? aren’t there automatic anti-aircraft missiles? wasn’t the entire pentagon and u.s. military on alert since there had been two planes flown into buildings and at least two more hijacked at the time? and isn’t there an air force base within 10 minutes driving of the pentagon.

the letters are back to normal size.

two christmas’s ago i read a lot about the claim that paul mccartney died and was replaced by a look-a-like. i read for about 5 hours on 4 straight days. i wanted to believe it. i really did. i usually want to believe these far-fetched conspiracies. but i can’t. because they’re usually completely implausible. how would they find a paul look-a-like that plays bass left-handed and sings the same? how would they keep linda and john and george and ringo quiet? how would they keep the look-a-like’s family and friends quiet? i read this page called “undeniable forensic dissertation.” it has pictures of the real and fake pauls and compares them. pretty convincing. except for how impossible i think it would be. but i spent some time trying to convince brian, even though i didn’t believe it. i just did some more reading a second ago. this guy gary patterson was on coast to coast AM to talk about this stuff. i guess he’s written a book. in his article, he quotes someone, “The resolution of the pictures is not comparison quality- different angles are not a scientific way to examine photographs especially to back up an argument. Different angles are there to give an overall view only but not for comparison. It has to theoretically be an exact of the one you are comparing it against. Changes in muscle movements in various photographs cannot be seen with the naked eye but can change measurements if you are comparing only photographs. That is why unless you can see beneath the skin to the actual muscle-then you cannot say precisely what a facial measurement is especially using two photographs that are that dissimilar in expression for comparison.”

also, he links to a couple of interesting websites that deal with this idea of comparing images of paul pre-1967 and post-1967. “paul mccartney is not dead” and “sir james paul mccartney“.

anyways, my point is that i like to read about this stuff. but i’m very skeptical. i try to convince people, but i really just like talking about this stuff. then i started reading about 9-11. and this is different. at the beginning i watched a bunch of videos and stuff about how live television was doctored and stuff. very fascinating, but not super believable. but then i started really reading about it. and there’s a lot of stuff i do believe now. like that the planes weren’t intercepted out of incompetence but out of negligence. or that the pentagon might not have been hit by flight 77. right now i’m reading this book called “the new pearl harbor” by david ray griffin. i thought it would be way annoying. but it’s surprisingly pretty good. i think he jumps to conclusions too often, but the evidence is laid out very nicely. it doesn’t convince me of his claim that the white house was involved in planning the attacks, but it has convinced me thoroughly that almost the entire official 9-11 story is fabricated. and also i’m convinced that members of the defense department knew what was happening and allowed it to happen. but mostly, i’m convinced that a serious investigation needs to be made. a website that i’ve been looking at a lot is 911research.wtc7.net. it suffers from jumping to conclusions from time to time, but i think it’s been pretty fair in most of my reading.  but i have a new favorite website: 911review.com.

so for the first time in my interest in these sorts of “conspiracy theories”, i’ve actually started buying into one. but i’m reluctant to, because of the association people make between conspiracy theorists and crackpots. i don’t believe the crazy stories. but in some ways, i think the crazy stories are more plausible than the official story. so i tell people about this stuff i’m reading all the time. and they probably think i’m just joking. like with the paul mccartney stuff. when i tried to convince brian and greg and krista, i didn’t really believe it at all. so when i talk about this 9-11 stuff, i sometimes laugh it off so i don’t seem like i’m obsessed or something. but i guess if i stay up until 4:00a reading about it, i might be obsessed anyways.

i just go through phases, right? 2 years ago i read about cobras all the time. last year paul mccartney. this year 9-11. i don’t understand it really. but i do know that this is the worst, most boring blog i’ve ever written in my life. i don’t dare go back to read what i wrote. it’s 3:52a and i’ve been reading stuff and writing a few things for an hour and a half. and i don’t think i’ve tried to make any jokes. i actually started this blog because i re-read the one about wimbledon and hated it. i hated that it was the top blog. and i wanted to write something. so i wrote about cobras. and 9-11. it’s too hard to come up with jokes in the middle of the night.



1. cindy mindy pindy - July 17, 2008

I didn’t read this whole post, but wanted to let you know that I got you a present out of the Smith’s Mystery Tattoo Machine and will bring it over to you when I find it again someday!

2. bex - July 18, 2008

If you have time to study this one, I heard that Church’s Fried Chicken Sterilizes Black Men. True?

3. Kate - July 18, 2008

Funny cobra dream Aaron! Haven’t snakes always been in your nightmares, like the snake always on the stair at Grandma’s house, or am I wrong?

4. brian - July 18, 2008

you should read libra by don delillo. you’d like it. it’s about lee oswald.

5. natali - July 27, 2008

i know i am sick with the flu when i have the same dream over and over again. its like i cant come with new material because i am so busy fighting the illness.

6. Sra - December 29, 2008

I’m really glad you started writing again, because your blogs always make me think about things in a completely different way than I am accustomed.

So, I don’t believe a plane crashed into the pentagon either. And I don’t believe United 92 (or whatever number it was) crashed in Pennsylvania (or wherever it was) either. I’ve seen pictures of actual plane crashes, and there’s one thing they all have in common: wreckage. Aside from a fuselage at the Pentagon, there was no plane wreckage. Are we to believe the planes and passengers disintegrated? Vaporized? All except the wallets of some of the passengers in PA? Yeah, I don’t buy it.

7. bluebeardsbeard - May 20, 2009

So, they did found a “paul” from a Beatles look-a-like contest. His name was William Campbell “(paul) You say goodbye, and (william) I say hello.” was the first song written by Post-paul.

A voice analyst from a University in Florida (who is so good at it, could take a group of 50 people, match a voice submission of them as children to them as adults by just hearing the 2 samples) said that pre-paul and post-paul are not the same person, and that the post paul is actually closer to Johns voice is frequency, tone and wavelength than it is to pre-paul.

Also pre-paul was engaged to another woman, after his “alleged” death, he immediately was with Linda. The suggestion is that post-paul was always with Linda.

Lastly they stopped playing live. A man can learn to play the bass.

Post-paul had some facial scars, which they said it was from a documented accident in which it was reported, then quickly retracted, that the driver (paul) had died. Several of the songs reference this crash, whether to further the hoax or deal subtly with the loss.

I don’t know if I believe it, if it’s not true it’s almost better.

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