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wanna get away? January 19, 2007

Posted by d.w. in sports.
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on the subject of fespn-ing, i’d like to talk about sportscenter. just like trying to get through an andy nesbitt article or listening to espn radio, every time i watch sportscenter i have to keep a throw-up bucket close by. last night was no exception. the good news is that i’m losing weight. the bad news is that last night i had to listen to john anderson say this (and even though i’m paraphrasing, i’ll use quotes):

nice smile, idiot“the guys who play for marty schottenheimer want him to stay, but the guys who pay for marty schottenheimer are the ones who get to make the decision. the difference between play and pay is an L. as in the L they suffered last sunday against the patriots.”

real cute, john. i wonder if he came up with that himself. and if he didn’t, i don’t know how he could read that off a teleprompter without being in one of those southwest commercials. like if i had to read that out loud on national television i would want to get away on one of their low-fares to dying. they make fun of t.o. for being depressed and maybe trying to commit suicide when they’re the ones with real reason to want to. do you think they watch tape of themselves the next day before filming the next episode? like they make notes on what worked and what didn’t and then try to make airtime adjustments? unfortunately, i don’t think they realize that nothing they say ever works. instead, they pat each other on the back for being so clever and cute. they should be giving each other “favors” for being able to read that stuff on television without hating themselves. that’s the real miracle, isn’t it. maybe even a christmas miracle?

on the subject of the chargers, i’m sad they lost. clif called it. now i have to try to pick between the colts and the patriots. i hate how much everyone loves peyton, but he makes super-funny commercials. i hate how everyone always talks about the patriots ability to “just win games no matter who they put on the field,” but tom brady is pretty attractive. so it’s hard to pick. actually it’s easy. bob sanders is back and better than ever. bob sanders is probably the best safety ever (see you later, ronnie lott) and he’s pretty cool too. i think he’ll probably intercept tom brady during his patented 4th quarter rally and take it for a touchdown. but instead, since he’s cool, he’ll probably punt it through the uprights when he gets inside the 10 yard line, which isn’t worth any points in american football. last year i had bob sanders on my team in mine and brian’s madden 2006 dynasty. i moved him to line-backer (i like to play fast on defense) and he was so awesome. i think dungy should try it.

colts 23 – patriots 21

as for the nfc game, this is a hard one too. i love drew brees but i hate that they love reggie bush so much. i like him, but rookie of the year talk? are they joking? he had one good punt return and he started playing pretty well towards the end of the season (including a great game last week), but come on. his teammate colston broke the record for rookie receiving yards in a season. so… then i like the bears a lot. they have the coolest secondary around: vasher, hester (prynne), tillman (not pat), and ricky manning, jr (sir rick). but then they have urlacher. who is pretty good, but i don’t like him as a person or as a football player. but the bears were my fantasy defense, so i feel like we’re connected. i’m going to pick the saints.

saints 21 – bears 16

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