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9 year-olds — who needs them? October 21, 2006

Posted by d.w. in hate.

i was at a math picnic this afternoon. everything was going well (we were kicking a soccer ball around and talking about modular forms) and then somebody’s kid (9 years old?) came over in his soccer uniform and asked if we play soccer or something. anyways, 4 of us were trying to juggle it, but ug-fest kept jumping in the middle and catching the ball. when he jumped you could see his fat, dirty diaper that his mom probably forgot to change before the picnic. so he kept doing it and i finally called “hands” on him. he said he was the goalie. i told him there are no goalies. then he picked the ball up, ran 40 yards and kicked it straight in the air. then, instead of trying to juggle it with us, every time it came to him he caught the ball and then drop-kicked it right at whoever was closest. if it missed them he would yell, “goal!” then this lady that gave a talk yesterday about cholera hit the ball with her arm and the kid called “hands” on her. so i said that she was the goalie and he said that he was the only goalie. so then i said the game doesn’t have any goalies and he said that nobody said it didn’t so he was calling that it did and that he was goalie. then he wanted to play 2 on 2 and he picked me to be on his team. then he kept picking the ball up over by their goal and i kept calling “hands” on him. he said he was goalie and i told him that there’s no goalies in 2 on 2 and that even if he was goalie, he was way out of the box. then the other team scored a goal and he called offsides. i said that it wasn’t since both of us were between them and the goal and since she didn’t even pass it. so he didn’t count their goal. don’t play soccer at math picnics because someone’s kid will ruin your day.



1. jay - October 30, 2006

Hmm. That’s a good lesson, although the lesson I gleaned was more like “don’t go to maths picnics.”

2. Cindy - October 31, 2006

Yep, that’s the lesson I got. There won’t be any 9 year olds at my Halloween party tomorrow night.

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