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way too diplomatic September 19, 2006

Posted by d.w. in hate.

i rode the greyhound to san francisco from corvallis on sunday night. there was this couple (newlyweds, apparently) that tried to go just to the front of the line, and i thought that it was a good time to start hating them. and i started planning a post about how i hate the girl most. so then they ended up behind me and the gentleman asked her how they were going to sit together and she said, “don’t worry. i’m way too diplomatic for us to sit apart. the bus was pretty full and i ended up on the back back seat with this other gentleman. they ended up two rows in front of me, by convincing this gentleman playing video games to sit next to the gentleman with the skateboard. then someone was in the bathroom (next to my seat) and when the lady that i hated went to use the bathroom i told her that someone was inside, i thought. she opened the door into his foot and yelled at him to lock it. then twice while he was still inside the bathroom yelled things like, hurry it up in there.

then as luck or fate would have it, the gentleman next to me got off at the next stop. so i had the back seat (which is 3 seats instead of 2) all to myself. i was excited because i had a pillow and i could go to sleep all night. the hated lady saw that i had it to myself when she used the bathroom again and asked if i would be willing to trade them. i normally would have been willing except (a) it’s a 3-seater and i’m tired and (b)she was really mean to that other gentleman. plus i hate her. so i said no thank you and she said that she’d pay me for the seat. then her husband told me that they were on their honeymoon and told me that he’s got some of the good stuff for me, if i switch them. i still told them i was going to pass. ten minutes later she yelled, “i feel like being a bitch and stretching out on the back seat by myself.” i yelled back, “i feel like being a bitch and whining about every thing that doesn’t go my way,” but only in my head.

we finally got to medford and stopped at a pilot gas station/convenience store. as i was walking to the store, the husband came up along side me and suggested that we alternate. he again offered me some good stuff that’ll put me right back to sleep in the other seats. so when we got back inside, there was this rather large gentleman that was boarding and she shouted to him that there was room on the back seat. joke’s on her, though, since i still had 1 1/2 seats. but she was laughing the whole time. at the next stop, the large gentleman got out to smoke and someone stole his seat. so in her face.

we finally got to sacramento and i couldn’t believe that i had to still be on another bus with them. anyways, then this happened. i heard what sounded like a fire-cracker or a gun and turned around to see her husband rifling through his bag. he grabbed a magazine (with the good stuff maybe?) and bolted. security called the police and they were searching for him the whole time i was there. i felt bad for him because he married the stupidest, meanest person ever, and also because now he couldn’t make his bus. but i was secretly happy that she was detained by the police. she lied about her birthyear to them and she also lied when he called her on the telephone and said it was her mom.

the unfortunate circumstances made it a little hard to keep hating her (but i did still somehow), so i started hating the kid in front of me in line. he had the biggest smile while the cops were questioning her. i thought it was inappropriate, even though i was smiling on the inside. and his haircut was stupid, so i hated him too.



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