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step aside, strongest man competition June 4, 2006

Posted by d.w. in sports.
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there’s a new competition for strongest man alive. so everyone at strongestmanalive.com better start looking for work. i’m talking about the matchup of the millenium, by which i actually mean the matchup of all 3 millenia in the common era (C.E.). being the biggest matchup of three thousand years is pretty impressive, but it’s even more so if you consider that there are still a lot of possible matchups that could take place in the next 994 years (i count the year 3000 as part of this millenium, as i should). this is bigger than jesus v. john lennon, more intriguing than bonds v. ruth, and more important than roe v. wade.

diop v. shaq: strongest man takes home an nba championship

desagna diopshaq attackthis is something that i’ve dreamt about along with brian and greg since we found desagana diop on nba live 2004 on the xbox. brian was searching for some toughness midway through one of our seasons. he sorted the players by strength and found diop listed at 99. the only other player at 99 was shaq. we immediately began to talk about the battle of the two titans (at the heights of their careers) and we even played shaq v. diop a number of times to see who was better. all of us knew that the primary problem was that nba live doesn’t make diop as good as he actually is. so we fasted, prayed, and waited patiently for the day when shaquille o’neal and desagana diop could finally face-off in real life. we knew all along that diop has the guts of a damn lion, and it’s well-documented that shaq has a master’s degree in criminal justice (because he brings law and order to the court). they both have 99 strength, so it’s up in the air who will get the better of the other. the day has finally arrived with the dallas mavericks and the miami heat playing game 1 of the nba finals on thursday. i know i’ll be glued to my chair watching diop’s every move. broken nose or not, i predict that diop will dominate shaq like he’s never been dominated before.

side note: shaq really is a volunteer police officer in miami and has had a hard time not beating suspects during questioning.

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