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see you later, aztec calendar November 22, 2005

Posted by d.w. in misc.

aztec calendari have an idea for a calendar that will revolutionalize the way we live our lives.

let me preface this calendar change with a non-rhetorical questions; by which i mean that you should email me your answer. do you ever get frustrated when someone tells you about an event in the coming months and you have to spend 10 minutes trying to figure out the day of the week it’s on unless you have a calendar present? i usually give up after 25 seconds.

imagine a world where every month had exactly four weeks. then if someone told you that they were having a tea party on the 16th of december, you would know that it was the same day as the 16th of november (which was a wednesday, but i had to get a calendar to verify that). in fact, for an entire year, the nth day of every single month would be the same day of the week. after the first few months, you would be so used to it that you wouldn’t have to think about what day of the week the nth of _______ was. it would be perfect. i used to work at the library and i had to say that books were due back in four weeks. in this new world, i could’ve just said that books were due back in a month. what a pleasure that would’ve been.

with 365 days in our calendar year, this idea really works nicely. that’s because there are 52 weeks plus 1 day every year. 52 / 4 = 13, so we would have 13 months plus 1 day per year. we would have to come up with a name for the 13th month (or one of the others), but we could hold a contest and get the name without too much trouble. then we would just call the extra day “new years” and we wouldn’t assign a month to it at all. in fact, we’d just stick it right before january first.

forseeable problems:
(1) changed birthdays.
(2) what day would halloween be?
(3) 13 straight months of friday the 13th’s.
(4) leap years.

(1) get over it. you’re going to have to convert to the metric system anyways, so there’s no sense in holding onto these archaic and cumbersome conventions (i’m 1.90 meters tall and i weigh about 82 kilograms).
(2) october 28th, idiot.
(3) even creepier = good idea. except we should put a limit on how many times the friday the 13th movie can be played that year (i say no more than 13 times). also, if you’re worried about friday the 13th losing its loveability due to over-exposure, remember that it would happen around 13 times every century. so if anything, it adds to the _____ where “_____” is what people associate with friday the 13th.
(4) on leap year, you have two days for new years. then you get two days off work instead of just one.

finally, i can stop taking anti-depressants, saying that stupid rhyme about “30 days hath september,” and watching people do that knuckle trick to figure out how many days june has.



1. who needs leap years? « look out pres. clinton! - November 1, 2006

[…] here’s the problem with the other calendar idea that i had:  it totally caters to the earth’s revolution about its axis and about the sun.  i mean, if we’re trying to move towards a universal calendar, it can’t be fair that on earth a day has a defined night time and day time while on other planets days are completely independent of whether they’re facing the sun or not.  so even though 13 months per year is a great idea, it’s a little bit short-sighted.  that’s why it’s time to introduce a new calendar idea, based (like all science) on the metric system.  you might think i’m stealing this idea from star trek.  in fact, i just thought about how maybe i am.  so i researched it and stardates don’t make any sense.  they’re totally made up and don’t even move chronologically at all.  gene roddenberry, who created stardates, once said: This time system adjusts for shifts in relative time which occur due to the vessel’s speed and space warp capability. It has little relationship to Earth’s time as we know it. One hour aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise at different times may equal as little as three Earth hours. The stardates specified in the log entry must be computed against the speed of the vessel, the space warp, and its position within our galaxy, in order to give a meaningful reading. […]

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