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sharks and the american dream October 19, 2005

Posted by d.w. in misc.
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american dream pizzai ate lunch at this restaurant near campus called “american dream pizza.” i mostly eat there because it’s pretty close and i can get a fairly large slice of pizza for $1.75 before taxes. after taxes it’s still $1.75. i was eating and i saw this great painting on the wall that i hadn’t noticed previously. it’s a three-part piece: on the left, there are 2 boys and 1 girl, all underwater and naked, eating pizza that they caught in the sea (ocean) with green tridents; on the right, it’s practically the same thing, but with different people; in the middle, there are 3 people on a beach hanging out and it gives you a glimpse of a breathtaking underwater scene — 1 shark and 1 electric eel eating pizza with all sorts of fish and underwater vegetation surrounding them.

a few days ago i had been wondering what brought sharks to america. for years, sharks from around the world have made their way to america in order to improve their lives or fulfill their dreams. i was curious about what the american dream is for sharks. take, for instance, any shark living in america. what can (s)he aspire to? so when i saw that shark eating pizza at the restaurant, it occurred to me that sharks come to america for the pizza. the american dream for sharks is that they can one day eat pizza and teach their offspring to love pizza. maybe it’s when baby sharks won’t eat pizza that the mothers eat them?

the question remains: why is the american dream different for sharks? the answer is that it’s not. all along, the american dream for people has been to eat pizza. if you think about, new york sort of symbolizes the realization of the american dream, and when i was there for 10 days, i ate pizza every day.

one hundred years later, the life of the [shark] is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. one hundred years later, the [shark] lives o[ff] a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean [surrounding a pizza-eating continent]. one hundred years later, the [shark] is still languishing in the corners of american society and finds [herself/]himself an exile in [her/]his own land. i have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all [sharks] are created equal.” i have a dream that one day [i]n the red hills of[f the coast of] Georgia the [offspring] of former slaves and the [offspring] of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brother[/sister]hood. i have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. i have a dream that my four [pet sharks] will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the co[ntent] of their [diet] but by the content of their character. i have a dream today. i have a dream that one day the state of alabama … will be transformed into a situation where little [sharks] will be able to join hands with little [children] and walk [or swim] together as sisters and brothers. i have a dream today. the thing that i would like to impress upon every [oceo]-american leader is that no kind of action in this country is ever going to bear fruit unless that action is tied in with the overall international struggle [of the sharks]. we want freedom by any means necessary. we want justice by any means necessary. we want equality by any means necessary.

my dream is that sharks from around the globe can come to america and eat pizza in the pizza restaurants and in the ocean.

i also wonder if, like the picture, the real american dream is catching wild pizza slices in the ocean with a trident while hunting naked and then eating them while still underwater. i suspect yes.

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